hey ppl!

just came back from camp yesterday. xD
mm i guess i have to say it was not what i expected. in the good way.
what was i expecting? i guess i have to say that i never expected much from kinetic. in the sense that i did not see much from them. yes i expected God to move. and i went cos i wanted to see God move. i guess there was still the hope there that somehow, God will move. that something special will happen. i know i was placed in kinetic for a purpose. i want to see that purpose lived out... i just didnt see how it was going to happen. not with the passion that can be seen in kinetic before. i guess i kinda just expected good music, fun games, anointed preaching. but nothing really to change even after the camp.
but im glad to say i was wrong. xD
God not only moved, but he really revealed himself during the camp. he showed me that what i had experienced in di could also happen in kinetic, and that there is no limits to what God can do. i had been waiting for the day i would see everyone just coming together and praying in the spirit. and it happened during the camp... i cried then. cos i realised i was really waiting for that to happen. i dont know. i think i kinda stopped hoping. i kinda gave up, even though i was still holding on. what a paradox. i guess i stopped believing in a way. stopped believing that what i was doing was making a difference. things just didnt seem to change, and i just kinda let go.
but i guess this camp has told me that i should never stop believing. and im not so alone anymore. not as much as i used to think i guess. and i realised i was not alone in thinking that kinetic was dead spiritually. on the last day, when it was opened for testimony, alot of them where about how they thought that kinetic was really lacking spiritually, but now, after the camp, they realised its not the case. it was really a common theme.

i guess for me, awakening camp has helped me see that things are not so hopeless. God is still moving. and we gotta kep moving too. just cos things seem dead, doesnt mean they really are.
but i guess at the end of the day, i hope that what we have experienced during the camp wont just be a once off spiritual high. instead, it will be something that is based on solid teaching and faith. so that the passion, the zeal ignited during the camp will be sustained and will spread into our schools, our families, our relationships.
but i also realised that at the end of the day, it is not we that make it happen, but God. it is not that we suddenly decided ok, we want to be zealous for God. but it is God that ignited the passion, that set the holy spirit in us. and if God set the flame alight, even if we do nothing to keep it going, God will keep it going and even if it dies down, it will remain a spark in our hearts, waiting for the oil to set it alight again.

the worry is that the passion will just dissipate. that when we return to our homes, our schools, we will go back into our regular routine and stop seeking God so much. but i realise that it is God who is in control. and he will keep it going. he will keep the flame alight. he will continue to stir our hearts. and that will never stop. =)

i need to have faith. i need to believe. i need to trust God that he will continue to move. i need to let faith just rise up. i need to let go of the past. i need to stop letting things that ive seen pull me down, hold me back. i need to have faith to just move and not fear/doubt. =)